The way we communicate with other people is a habit. Therefore, we often do not know whether the pattern of the conversations that we do already good or not good. In daily life surely you often said in my heart: "ah bad chatting with the A more palatable, I am looking for the B and a chat with her."
I do not know your own fit into which category: the A or the B, hopefully not the A because the A is usually always shunned by his peers.
If you just entered in the A category, you need not worry because the pattern of the conversation is not good of course can be improved. Below are some of the common mistakes done by the people in a conversation with several solutions to fix it.
1. Don't listen
Most people are not typical of a good listener. This, of course, relates to their ego, which precisely wants more heard than listening. In every conversation, they seem to can't stand waiting for a turn to speak.
Learn to suppress the ego you to listen in earnest what others say.
When you take a stance to start listening, you are paving the way for the creation of a relationship (whatever) that very potential. Yet still, avoid short answer "Yes" or "no", because if you like that you're talking to will provide information to you half-measures. Enthusiastic towards the topics they are talking about, for example, if you're talking to are telling you about his experience climbing the mountain at the end of last week, you can ask him:
- What mountain do you climb?
- What is love about mountain climbing?
- Whatever do you on the mountain?
Such questions will make the conversation topic into a deeper, more interesting, as well as fishing more topics to discuss. And that is just as important as you're talking to know that you really are listening. This, of course, will make the level of respect you're talking to grow on you.
2. Too much to ask
Some questions may mean you are enthusiastic with you're talking too much, but ask any eventually became not good because it looks like you're interrogating you're talking to and can make them uncomfortable.
Try a merge between statements and questions, e.g.:
- I went last week with a weekend fishing with my friends. Do you like fishing?
3. Run out of Topics to talk about
In a conversation, you may often feel run out of topics to talk about with you're talking to, especially if you talk to someone who you just know. To prevent this from happening, there are some suggestions on topics that you are talking about:
- A wise man once said "don't leave home without reading newspapers in advance. If you run out of topics to talk about, you can start talking about the news that is warm at the moment. "
- Talking about something that is surrounding you. Possible about the aquarium which is behind you, the kids who are playing next to you, or any course that allows talking about around you.
4. Bad delivery
One of the most important things in the conversation is not what you say, but how you deliver it. Changes in these habits will make a big difference because the voice and body language is a very vital part of the conversation. Some of the stuff below for you to consider:
- Pass slowly. When you talk about a thing that is very fun, easy for you to start the conversation and even you can talk very quickly. You try to slow down the pace of your speech because it would be easier for the person you're talking to listen to and capture the meaning you want to convey.
- Speak with a loud voice. No need to hesitate, because you're talking to does indeed want to listen to you.
- Speak clearly. Do not like mumble.
- Speak with a voice that is not monotonous. Involve emotion in your voice.
- Use the pause. Submission by slowly added with a pause will make you're talking more attention in listening and the atmosphere became more relaxed.
- Use a good body language. In the next article, I will discuss how to use body language.
Do you feel if you were cut by the talk you're talking to? … Yes, you're talking to will feel the same way if you cut his talk. Let the person you're talking to spend in advance what would like delivered. It is one of the forms of appreciation you're on you're talking to. Look for a balance between listening and speaking.
6. The desire of "always right"
People will not be impressed with you if you always want to feel right in each conversation. Often the talk isn't really a discussion. Sometimes we like to keep the mood remains good with talking to someone. For example one of the friends you'd like to tell you about the excitement of rafting experience to the extent that his inflatable boat capsized. However, you instead talked of how a good raft. I'm sure your friend's mood will change.
Sit relaxed, talking and don't argue.
7. Talk about strange things or negative
Have you ever become acquainted with someone and after that he talks about the strange things or negative, as his health worsened, the story of the murder of his superior, that sucks, or the strange language that only he and his friend who knows the meaning.
I don't think it is useful to talk things weird or negative like that. People would love to talk to you if you always give positive energy in any words that you remove.
8. The Boring
Do not tell you the length the length of your car that you just bought or home that has just been completed. The average person is not too interested in that kind of story, which is to expose capabilities themselves. Look for the topic that leads to passionate things or things that are funny suppose. You could also tell you about your experience of a weekend at the Summit yesterday or plan your vacation at the upcoming Idul Fitri holiday. The bottom line is something positive. Also not complaining about your boss or your job.
Dale Carnegie once said:
"In 2 months you will have a lot more friends with how enthusiastic towards the stories they compared 2 years you are looking for friends by way of trying to lure they are interested in your stories."
Try to give more roles in talking to the person you're talking to. Later, you will build a quality relationship. Maybe you've often heard the term "why God created 2 ears and 1 mouth? ... that we are a lot more listening than talking.
9. Do not respond well
If someone told me about his experience, not just a nod or answer with a short sentence. Be open and tell me what you think. Express your feelings.
In closing, you don't have to fix it to the above step at once. Please choose a roughly 3 most important things that you think need to be improved and for 3-4 weeks you try doing so continuously until it becomes a habit.
Hopefully this conversation useful tips for you so that you later can be good interlocutors for friends or your partner.